UPDATE.........
THE FAIRDINKUM RACUIG TRIALS
TRAGEDY AT MUTTABURRA.......
WITH ONLY 60 HOURS BEFORE THE TRIALS, THE UNTHINKABLE HAS HAPPENED.......
WHILE PREPARING THE LANES LAST NIGHT, FILL-IN TECH WILLY BE'RITE DROPPED HIS CIGARETTE ONTO LANE ONE......NOW EVERYONE KNOWS THAT "PETRIFIED DINGOE DROPPING" LANES ARE HIGHLY INFLAMABLE.........
THIS CAUSED AN INSTANT FIRE BALL THRU THE CENTRE..........
A CHAIN REACTION SENT OF FLAMES THOUGH TO THE ADJACENT HOTEL, AIRPORT AND CAIN TOAD TRACK.........
THIS MORNING LOCALS COULDNT BELIEVE THEIR EYES AS THEY STOOD IN FRONT OF THE REMAINS OF WHAT WAS MUTTABURRA'S ONLY HOPE OF ECONOMIC RECOVERY.........
IF THE NEWS CANT GET ANY WORSE.........
WILEY NUDGER AND HIS NEW PNG BRIDE HAVE CAPSIZED THEIR CANOE AT NORMANTON......
WHILE STAYING AT THE "PURPLE PUB" FOR THE NIGHT, WILEY PURCHASED A STEAK SANDWICHED AND CHOKED TO DEATH.......
BILLY HATCHETT THE BLOWIE SWATTING CHAMP HAS HAD TO WITHDRAW AFTER STRAINING HIS RIGHT ELBOW CHASING A MARCH FLY THREW HIS HOUSE LAST NIGHT.........
INKA WUNGA HAS RETURNED TO MORNINGTON ISLAND AFTER A DISPUTE WITH THE LOCAL COUNCIL ON FRINGE BENEFITS FROM HIS PARKING METER JOB.........
ALL THE MENTIONED NAMES FROM THE PAST HAVE JOINED TOGETHER TO BOYCOTT THE DECISION ON HORN ISLANDS SUCCESS IN HOLDING THE TRIALS FOR NEXT YEAR, THEY HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED UNDER THE RULING OF "DISREPUTE OF THE GAME"............
TED MCSNOTTY AND KANNACKER BROTHERS HAVE WITHDRAWN AFTER HEARING THE (FUQT) DECISION ON THE LIQUER DISPUTE.........
JAPANESE BACKPACKER KONISHI BITSOSCHITTI WAS RUN OVER BY A MAC TRUCK LAST NIGHT MAKING HIS WAY TO MUTTABURRA........
IT WAS ALSO FOUND THAT BEN DOWN WAS ATTACKED BY WILD DINGOES YESTERDAY, BEN WAS DISQUALIFED THAT MORNING BY (MUSTBOL)(SCHITT) AND (PIST) FOR TRYING TO MOCK THE "FATHER-SON" RULING, IT WAS FOUND THAT HIS REAL NAME IS BEN CHAMBERLAIN.............
ON A MUCH MORE HAPPIER NOTE, MARY FICKETT HAS BOWLED HER FINAL BALL ON THE WOLLOGORANG LANE TEMPORARALY ERECTED IN BIRDSVILLE NEAR THE RACE COURSE WHERE THE LOCAL CAMELS ARE TRAINED FOR THE BIG RACE IN SEPTEMBER.....
AFTER NAILING THE POCKET AND LEAVING A TEN PIN SWAYING IN THE BREEZE, VIBRATIONS FROM A 150 CAMEL STAMPEDE NEARBY TOPPLED THE PIN INTO THE GUTTER......(MUCH LIKE THE OLD FOOTSCRAY BOWL WITH THE ADJACENT TRAIN TRACK).........CONGRATULATIONS TO MARY FOR HER PERFECT GAME AND FOR BEING ONLY THE SECOND PERSON TO BOWL A 300 ON 3 SEPERATE LANES ( WHO WAS THE FIRST?)
ALL ASSOCIATIONS HAVE NOW AGREED THAT THE TRIALS WILL TAKE PLACE THIS WEEKEND.........CANNON HILL ON SATURDAY AND CHERMSIDE ON SUNDAY........
GOOD LUCK TO ALL
~THE END~