In order to qualify to continue to take part in this discussion, please answer the following questions, by placing an ‘X’ in the box of your choice.
NOTE
Bowlers - please place X in one box only for each question, with the exception of Q.6.
Administrators & other Decision Makers You may place ‘X’ in both boxes (or neither) in each question, as you have an automatic exemption from any requirement to think "outside the square".
Q.1. Should Australian Representative Teams be selected:
On Bowling Ability?
YES [_] Go to Q.2
NO [_] Go to Q.7
Q.2 In order to select on ability, should this:-
Be left entirely to the judgment of Selectors
YES [_] You have finished the test, log off and disqualify yourself from all leagues and tournaments for six months.
NO [_] go to Q.3.
Q.3 Should we determine bowling ability by :
Current and Recent bowling results?
YES [_] go to Q.4.
OR
Other miscellaneous factors?
YES [_] accept an appointment, for the term of your natural life, to the T.B.A. Board, You are excused from the remainder of the test.
Q.4 Would you consider that a series of nominated Tournaments would provide a means to measure relative ability between bowlers?
YES [_] go to Q.5.
NO [_] sorry, there are no further vacancies on the T.B.A. Board. Would you accept a place in the team as compensation? You have finished the test (and failed).
Q.5. Would you agree that lane conditions in such Tournaments be set with regard to known F.I.Q. conditions, and that this requirement be supervised and enforced by the Sports’ Controlling Body?
YES [_] sorry, we don’t have a Sports’ Controlling Body, we only have the T.B.A., but go to Q.6. anyway.
NO [_] well, at least you’re realistic, also go to Q.6.
Q.6. Assuming that we have now sorted out relative abilities (regardless of Q.5.) should we now disregard this and remove any bowlers who:
a) Have not bowled in City, Zone, State or National Championships?
b) Have brown eyes?
c) Have not participated in President’s Shield or Rachuig Trials?
d) Are not good at jumping through hoops?
e) Any other pre-condition thought up from time to time?
f) Bowls with the wrong hand? (which hand this is, will be decided by toss of coin).
I agree with any or all of the above
YES [_] go back to Q.1. and attempt to resolve conflict and start test again
NO [_] Congratulations! You’ve passed the test, but what are you going to do about it?
Q.7 This question is not a question. This is an instruction. If you answered NO to Q.1. you have automatically agreed to the following:
That, for your own good and in the interests of Bowling, you be removed from your place of residence, and taken to a place of execution and there be compelled to bowl on dry lanes, with a highly reactive ball until you die of frustration.
NOTE TO EXECUTIONER Please ‘phone your nearest A.M.F. Centre, prior to arrival to ensure lane availability. No special lane preparation should be necessary.
FOOTNOTE Current team members, please don’t believe that this reflects upon you. Even a silly system can produce good results from time to time.