What to do when the fire is out?

[wchester]

Saw this thread on the pba.com forum and thought it would be just as appropriate here..

How does one counsel another bowler who has lost his passion for bowling?

The bowler in question has spent the better part of the last three decades as a bowler, but he now finds himself in a position where he has not performed well for at least the last two years. Part of him wants to find a way to get back on track. At the same time, he feels burned out to the point where he just does not care anymore.

At one time, this bowler ate, drank, and slept bowling... up to five leagues a week and tournaments almost every weekend, practicing in his free time whenever possible. Now, it is almost as though he is trying desperately to care about the sport, but unable to really do so.

How it happened, why it happened, is not easy for him to pin down. He has run the gamut of lane conditions in an attempt to keep his interest piqued. He has played the "equipment game" as well for several years.

Coaches have been able to diagnose flaws in the physical game, but without the mental fortitude to care enough to make those changes, the suggestions are of little use.

He is not old and not frail, but he has mentioned that he often feels that he cannot keep up with the strength and speed that is often required to successfully throw the modern equipment. He also mentions that he feels caught in the middle... not good enough to compete with the sport bowlers, too competitive to enjoy recreational bowling again.

I don't know how to advise him. I am just a friend, not a coach. Still, I would hate to see him walk away from something that has always been a major part of his life ... but it seems that he could do just that at any given moment.

Is this a problem for which there is any real external solution, or is this one of those situations where one must stand clear and allow the chips to fall where they may?

What can one do or say when the passion is just... gone?

 

[PeterB]

OMG. Sounds like me. I'll be watching this thread closely in case someone has a sollution.

 

[Troyza]

When someone has lost their passion, more often than not it can be due to lack of reward. Bowling great games & watching flush strikes can only be rewarding for so long before it wears thin. (Unless you're getting paid millions a year for bowling)

The sad but true part about bowling in Australia, is that there is barely any physical reward for the sport. Once someone gets desensitized to the emotional reward bowling gives, chances are that the person in question isn't going to get their passion back.
I've seen it happen in my 5 years on the lanes. A teen in our center lost the passion because he was in a low for quite a while. But his passion was reignited by beginning to bowl 2 handed. Now, maybe that wasn't the best or most logical idea, but at least he enjoys the sport again, even if he's had to go back to the basics.

Perhaps if your mate was to take a 5 year break or so, some nice long time away from the sport, he will walk back into the center & get the bug back. (Of course by then, his wrist would have weakened, & he'd be able to just fudge the ultra reactive equipment down 5 board & let it roll into the pocket. haha)

 

[Tiger]

OMG. Sounds like me. I'll be watching this thread closely in case someone has a sollution.

Yeah, me too.
Sounds exactly like how I've felt for probably the last ten years on & off, the past two or three especially.
Will be watching with interest.

 

[androooo]

I took up golf again....

 

[Easy Tiger]

Very interesting article, but a shame it offers no answers.

I have 3 months left to the end of the year and then I think that will be it. At the very least, I'll be taking a break. Might take up cricket again, we'll see.

 

[weggy]

I've been there and back again, not just in bowling but with other areas as well.

For me, it wasn't anything in particular but that 'something wasn't right'. Sometimes a trial separation is the best thing you can do. Could be 12 months or 12 weeks.

It comes back to that classic line from a classic song "You don't know what you've got 'til its gone"

 

[kmac]

Hi guys,

Yes indeed, I too have grappled with this very issue for a couple of years now and am close to letting go completely.

For me, the cost of bowling is a major factor. The cost of practicing alone to get one to the level he/she needs to be to compete is prohibitively expensive. No centre around here offers time blocks of bowling, only games with no warm up or practice beforehand. When I practice, I don’t want to score, I want to perfect my shot execution, however you are penalised in a practice volume sense when you strike in those situations. So I rarely practice enough to get the satisfaction and high you normally get when you master something you have been working on in your approach. The people who manage the centres nearby haven’t got a clue about the needs of bowlers and the sport and treat you with contempt if you ask for something out of the ordinary, like crossover lane play or lights on in an empty centre. Then there is the environment, why practice on a beat up THS with virtually no oil on the lanes and dirty approaches? What does one gain from that after handing over $36 dollars for 6 games of practice? Tournaments and equipment only keep you motivated temporarily and these things are very expensive also. I feel the people who are really successful in the sport are those who have free and/or easy access to practice and equipment. This is disheartening to me personally and it has to be disheartening to those wanting to progress in the sport.

From my experience, the sport is really not respected in the wider sporting community because of the way it is promoted and marketed and this in turn perpetuates the above problems. I really wish I knew the answers because I do love the sport. But I am at the point these days when I feel bowling has to really die off and suffer before it can be revived to the point of sustainability because while recreational bowling seems to be going alright, I don’t think the current situation is working for the benefit of the sport.

Again a long winded post, sorry. I have to stop doing this!

Cheers
Ken

 

[Beanie]

3 words here - TAKE A BREAK.

I just went through a period where I lost all interest in the competitive side of bowling. I took a complete break from all scratch bowling for 3 months, and resorted to bowling in a handicap league - for fun, nothing else - once a week, without practising.

When elite bowlers get into this sort of situation bowling becomes a 'chore'. It's not just the passion, but the enjoyment side of bowling has been forgotten. I found that this was the key - learning to enjoy the game again. Besides, this is why we took up bowling in the first place - because we enjoyed it.

My suggestion for this person who has lost interest - take a break from competitive bowling, and go back to recreational bowling. Pick one handicap league to bowl in where there are some reasonable average bowlers, and just bowl for fun without caring about the scores. Bowl this one league to prevent going completely rusty, but don't practice at all until he/she wants to practice.

I expected my break would have been 6 months or more, but I found after a couple of months that I was missing it, and I wanted to give it another go. I am now bowling as well as I ever have, in both competitive and recreational situations, and I am having as much fun as I ever have.

There will be a time at some point in the future (could be 3 months, could be a year, could be longer) when this person will want to come back to competitive bowling. That will be the right time to mount a comeback, not beforehand.

Just my thoughts on this one.

David.

 

[cjallstar]

same as many people here was not enjoying my bowling. towards the end of 2003 cost were getting high and the money wasnt flowing as much the only thing to do was take a break change things up try another hobby or sport. my break was five years until this year i deciced it was time for a come back but im taking things slower than i would have in the past only two leauges not five and only one tourney so far not every single one . sometimes you just have to let go of something and try something else eventullay you will come back to it refreshed and ready to take on the challenge again and that goes for everything you do in life !!!

 

[DaleS]

I had the same problem a few years ago, bowling was just blah...bowling...then my kids decided they wanted to bowl. So we let them join a 2 game a week junior league in our local centre. Watching them bowl every week (and we still do) I discovered what bowling was all about again - fun, plain simple fun, they got so much joy from a simple spare or a strike, it reminded me what the game was all about again.

I went out, found a coach and worked on my game with a new found passion. Do I have those blah blowing days now...yes of course....do I have fun now...more than ever...

I guess the answer is, do it till it stops being fun, I guess I was lucky, my whole family bowls now (including extended family). But my kids still have fun and enjoy it as much as they did the first day they bowled....whats that saying..."out of the mouths of babes"

Just my 20 cents worth....

 

[jockey]

I went through this after bowling any time I could (leagues, tournaments, practice etc.) for nine years straight. Suddenly I found it a chore not fun so I had the only break I had in the 23 years I have been involved in the sport.

It lasted six months during which I still dropped into the centre to catch up with mates on some occasions but at those times never had the desire to bowl until I dropped in one day and found I did want to bowl again. It took time to get back into it but back into I got and now 14 years later I am still doing it.

Until I started practicing once a week this year I was thinking about taking another break but since have started to enjoy it a whole lot more again. so maybe a change in bowling routine may help.

I don't know whether keeping in touch with the game like I did during the six months break is the right thing for everyone but it did probably save me from staying away from the game for a lot longer than I probably would have. Anyway as my whole family are or have been bowlers their was always some bowling talk going on around me when I did have my break not to mention the cups and medals reminding me.

 

[PeterB]

I've been involved with the sport since 1970 in some capacity. I've taken the occasional breaks and have always come back better than before. Now, even though I love the sport and still have all my gear, the desire just isn't there. I enjoy watching it on the telly or going to a center, but I just don't feel the same way about bowling anymore.

The cost certainly is a factor, but so are the unrealistic scores and averages. I guess I'm just disillusioned with what the sport has become. I'd love to get the passion and desire back for the sport. Taking a break now is pointless as I haven't thrown a ball in 2 years.

 

[wchester]

Below is a sampling of some of the replies which have been posted on the other site.

I too have pretty much lost my drive. My enthusiasm dies a little bit more each time I witness a 300 shot buy someone who would have trouble averaging 170 thirty years ago. I've talked to the proprietor about toughening up the shot just a little to no avail. Rather than continue to witness this joke week after week, I have just about convinced myself that now is the time to hang it up. It is really sad what has happened to this game that I love so much.


Bowling used to be an activity easy to begin/pick-up and difficult to master....not any more.

Like in My Fair Lady, I would be willing to wager that I could take anyone with reasonable hand/eye coordination who never picked up a bowling ball in his life, and within the length of a bowling season, could pass him off as a regional pro.

This is a fast-paced world, currently, with an "I want it now" philosophy. Bowling has provided this shortcut system with its steroid balls and guided path THS patterns and destroyed the sport side which should require hours/days/years of practice and perfecting the many fundamentals. When the game is at its best, it is almost like weight loss. The hard work will take time to show results. But for those that persevere, it becomes a limitless challenge and the passion to improve just as boundless....and when that work begins to show results, the rewards are great.

"Getting in stroke", what a great feeling of satisfaction. A feeling that is lost in today's game because We cannot deny the importance and influence of the balls and oiling techniques etc.

Not to mention that no matter how good the "stroke" you have to maintain a very expensive "arsenal".

I regularly see "competetive" bowlers spend $500 dollars or more to eventually "win" $100 or $200 and immediately run out and buy another "new" ball with their "winnings[?]".
Who is the true winner?

 

[luke]

i have just aquired an injury that has stopped me bowling for a while it feels really good to have a brake from bowling.. if anyone out there feels burnt out or sick of bowling take a brake

 

[RobbieB]

Get involved with those people who DO still have the passion. Go to the centre and get involved with the juniors, do some coaching. Surround yourself with passionate people, and hope it's catching.

 

[bfcc]

I too have pretty much lost my drive. My enthusiasm dies a little bit more each time I witness a 300 shot buy someone who would have trouble averaging 170 thirty years ago. I've talked to the proprietor about toughening up the shot just a little to no avail. Rather than continue to witness this joke week after week, I have just about convinced myself that now is the time to hang it up. It is really sad what has happened to this game that I love so much.


Bowling used to be an activity easy to begin/pick-up and difficult to master....not any more.

Like in My Fair Lady, I would be willing to wager that I could take anyone with reasonable hand/eye coordination who never picked up a bowling ball in his life, and within the length of a bowling season, could pass him off as a regional pro.

This is a fast-paced world, currently, with an "I want it now" philosophy. Bowling has provided this shortcut system with its steroid balls and guided path THS patterns and destroyed the sport side which should require hours/days/years of practice and perfecting the many fundamentals. When the game is at its best, it is almost like weight loss. The hard work will take time to show results. But for those that persevere, it becomes a limitless challenge and the passion to improve just as boundless....and when that work begins to show results, the rewards are great.

"Getting in stroke", what a great feeling of satisfaction. A feeling that is lost in today's game because We cannot deny the importance and influence of the balls and oiling techniques etc.

Not to mention that no matter how good the "stroke" you have to maintain a very expensive "arsenal".

I regularly see "competetive" bowlers spend $500 dollars or more to eventually "win" $100 or $200 and immediately run out and buy another "new" ball with their "winnings[?]".
Who is the true winner?

This reply is spot on .....:rip:

 

[KriDdLe]

I've been there and back again, not just in bowling but with other areas as well.
For me, it wasn't anything in particular but that 'something wasn't right'. Sometimes a trial separation is the best thing you can do. Could be 12 months or 12 weeks.
It comes back to that classic line from a classic song "You don't know what you've got 'til its gone"

Agreed. it works

 

[kitkat23]

There has only been 2 times in my bowling life that i have not wanted to bowl. the 1st was when i just started the sport i was 11 and my brother was 9 we were the only jnrs bowling in an adult league in my old centre. The adults in the league and the centre proprietors did every thing to encourage us in the sport, but at the end of the season, the treasurer of our league embezzelled the prize fund and we were crushed. once the league found out what happened, another lady in the league presented us with some of her own trophies (minus the plaques of course) and that refuelled our love for the game.

The next time is now. the new centre im bowling in (and working in) has managers and owners in charge that have no idea about the sport. We have tried for the past 2 years to set up an association, run the leagues how they are ment to be running, encourage bowlers to try new things (like south west country challenge), promote the game as a life time sport etc, but everything we do is blocked. The association is now licenced, and try as we might, all we get is a big brick wall.

There are many factors in this sport when it comes to the fire and passion to do it. At the current moment, i still love the sport but as a bowler, i am being ripped off by people who dont understand that it is a sport to me and we want things to run fairly. some others include seeing people bowl 300 games that would of had trouble mastering a turkey 10 years ago. All the time and effort i have put in to learning the technique, oil patterns etc dont seem worth it anymore because i know im not going to get the recognition (or encouragement) that i used to get. how do you get that drive for the sport back when its not what ur doing right or wrong but because of inconsistant and lack of knowledge and support for our game?

 

[The Insider]

I was in this situation a few years ago. I just was over bowling - couldn't care less. I had a break, and came back. It does happen!

The reason I gave it up in the first place was because I was stuck in a rut. I was winning games, bowling well, but really didn't enjoy it.

I took up tennis - played that competitively for a year, and then actually went cosmic bowling with my mates (with a house ball). I bowled 220 and then joined back into a league the next morning.

I then also bought brand new equipment - bag, shoes, and bowling balls.

So I recommend having a break if you don't enjoy bowling anymore.