L
littlebilly
I am 0% Austrailian and proud of it.
How Australian Are You???
- Thread starter ~Mrs STORM~
- Start date
PeterB
Elite Armchair Athlete
Australian Tourism
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by The website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only five thousand kilometers, take lots of water
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which doesn't oh forget it
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross Come naked
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of he directions
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y which is oh forget it Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races Come naked
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name It's a kind of bear and lives in trees(USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by The website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only five thousand kilometers, take lots of water
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which doesn't oh forget it
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross Come naked
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of he directions
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y which is oh forget it Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races Come naked
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers Milk is illegal
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name It's a kind of bear and lives in trees(USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking
~Mrs STORM~
Revless Wonder...
HaHaHa...
Kind of reminds me of this time I was in Yahoo Games and this person goes "Have they got computers in Australia?" Geebuzz...what do people think we are?
Kind of reminds me of this time I was in Yahoo Games and this person goes "Have they got computers in Australia?" Geebuzz...what do people think we are?
charliebrown
New Member
I got 16/20 some of the expressions I have never heard of before and I am Australian born and bred!!!!!!
Easy Tiger
Active Member
You got 18 answers right.
You got 2 answers wrong.
You're a little ripper!
You have a near perfect grasp of the colourful gab and can probably make yourself understood in most social occasions, such as Gazza's weekly Barbie... but I bet you can't throw a boomerang!
You got 2 answers wrong.
You're a little ripper!
You have a near perfect grasp of the colourful gab and can probably make yourself understood in most social occasions, such as Gazza's weekly Barbie... but I bet you can't throw a boomerang!
PeterB
Elite Armchair Athlete
~Mrs Storm~ said:
I visit the Yahoo pool rooms and I've had some Americans believing we have Christmas in July so we can have a white Christmas like they do. :???:
They think we still live in the 50s, but some are just so gullible.
One I like to use is "BRB my kangaroos just got out."
~Mrs STORM~
Revless Wonder...
PeterB said:
HaHaHa...funny coz it doesnt snow in very many places in Australia...hahaha
Tell them you use a wombat as a coffee table...I did once, and yes they believed it...
Luke D
The Reflecting God
I had one a while ago while on Yahoo (can't remember what game), and one asked me "You're in Perth are you? What a coincidence. I know someone in Sydney, do you know them?"PeterB said:I visit the Yahoo pool rooms and I've had some Americans believing we have Christmas in July so we can have a white Christmas like they do. :???:
They think we still live in the 50s, but some are just so gullible.
One I like to use is "BRB my kangaroos just got out."
My reply was, "umm, there's 20million people in this country, and Sydney is 3 states and 3000km away"
Their comeback, "Oh?! You guys have states?!!!"
They ask what platypus tastes like, but go silent when you say "A cross between koala and wallaby"... Don't know why
PeterB
Elite Armchair Athlete
Luke D said:I had one a while ago while on Yahoo (can't remember what game), and one asked me "You're in Perth are you? What a coincidence. I know someone in Sydney, do you know them?"
My reply was, "umm, there's 20million people in this country, and Sydney is 3 states and 3000km away"
Their comeback, "Oh?! You guys have states?!!!"
They ask what platypus tastes like, but go silent when you say "A cross between koala and wallaby"... Don't know why
ROFLMFAO.
That's the best one I've heard yet Luke.
Tiger
Active Member
Luke D said:I had one a while ago while on Yahoo (can't remember what game), and one asked me "You're in Perth are you? What a coincidence. I know someone in Sydney, do you know them?"
My reply was, "umm, there's 20million people in this country, and Sydney is 3 states and 3000km away"
Their comeback, "Oh?! You guys have states?!!!"
They ask what platypus tastes like, but go silent when you say "A cross between koala and wallaby"... Don't know why
HAHAHAHA
I think we've all had a similar tale or two in the old Yahoo chats with some of them.
Their lack of knowledge outside of anywhere they reside astounds me.
They think Tasmania's in Northern Africa....LOL
