tonx
New Member
1.There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
2.On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out
3.Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate
4.The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags
5.It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold
6.A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
7.Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really crap at remembering names.
8. 8.Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle
9.If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
10.The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
11.The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
12.If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the hosts beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).
13.If there is any sort of free event or party within a hundred
kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
14.The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everythingyou own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.
15.Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.
16.On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.
17.The chief test of manhood is ones ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.
18.Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".
19.There comes a time in every Australians life when he/she realises that the Aeroguard is worse than the flies.
20.The true test for immigration to Australia: They give potential new Aussies the following test: - Mowing a wet, sloping lawn (at least 20 degree angle) in a pair of thongs, holding a beer while watching the cricket.
If you can't pass that, chances are you will never be able to pass
yourself off as a true Aussie.
2.On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out
3.Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate
4.The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags
5.It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold
6.A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
7.Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively, Australians may just be really crap at remembering names.
8. 8.Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle
9.If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
10.The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
11.The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
12.If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the hosts beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).
13.If there is any sort of free event or party within a hundred
kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
14.The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everythingyou own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.
15.Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.
16.On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.
17.The chief test of manhood is ones ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.
18.Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction, most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that the call is "being made on my mobile".
19.There comes a time in every Australians life when he/she realises that the Aeroguard is worse than the flies.
20.The true test for immigration to Australia: They give potential new Aussies the following test: - Mowing a wet, sloping lawn (at least 20 degree angle) in a pair of thongs, holding a beer while watching the cricket.
If you can't pass that, chances are you will never be able to pass
yourself off as a true Aussie.
